Thank you

Classmates and Colleagues,
Whew, this year has been a non-stop roller coaster for me.  Adopting twins, running a business, being a wife, and going to school.  I did not think I would make it through.  However, I must thank Dr. Parrish and my wonderful colleagues for making this course so enjoyable.  I do not think I would have made it through without the support and affirmations that I received from week to week.  Your words of encouragement mean everything.  As we continue our educational journey, I wish you all the most success in your future endeavors. If you ever need me I'm here.  Tired, but available. 

Until next time

Team Building and Collaboration

The most difficult group that I left was a team of teachers that I worked with in a commercial childcare facility.  The administration was lacking and we had to make decisions for ourselves.  We relied on one another to get things done and run the classrooms.  I was promoted to Assistant director because the Director was not interested in doing the job.  If it weren't for my excellent team of teachers, that job would have been impossible.  What I realized is that both the director and the owner did not care for the children or their families.  They gouged the prices and instructed me to purchase subpar and used materials.  I found myself lying to parents and state agencies. Covering safety hazards and misdealings.  I did what I needed to do to provide a safe place for the children while supporting the teachers.  Soon I became so riddled with disappointment, I had to leave.  I discussed my issues with my teaching staff and they begged me to stay as I was the buffer and their advocate.  They knew that their jobs will get increasingly difficult in my absence. what made leaving difficult with that the teachers with parents and the children have become a small tight-knit community. We work together well we support each other and everything and we had a true and genuine affection for one another. Leaving them meant having to deal with the uncertainty of how they will be treated who would replace me and what would happen to the community that I left behind. But I could no longer contribute to the maltreatment that the administration was that hearing to this community that loved. It was making me physically sick to be a participant in it each day. it was then that I decided that I was going to go into business for myself using the principles in the philosophies that I hold it dear. When I made the decision to leave I informed my co teacher and my colleagues as well as the parents of the children many understood others took the news jorrihor. I spent the next two weeks making memories with the children everyday we did something that we could photograph and put on the wall and they could take home. on my last day at the job we had a party I had a party with the children I went to lunch with my co-workers and after work I went to dinner and drinks with my coworkers. I let them know that they will always have my support and if they needed me for anything at anytime I would do my very best to be there for them. Fast forward 3 years and I have my small child care center and I get to hire one of my former coworkers. And recently and my largest center I hired two more of my  former coworkers. They are now a large contributing factor to the success of my business I value them as much now as I did then

Conflict Resolution

In my life, I've had plenty of conflicts and disagreements. Possibly because I'm extremely opinionated.  However, when it comes to conflict and disagreements I usually end with the statement "let's agree to disagree". Not only because as I want my position and opinion to be respected I want to always show respect for the opinions and position of my opposition.

Recently I had a teacher in my center who approached me and was a very upset. She felt that her co-teacher was abusive and she wanted her fired.  when I inquired about of the abuse that she was suggesting was occurring in the classroom she said she did not like the tone in which the teacher spoke to the children.  The co-teacher has been employed at my center for multiple years the parents love her, the children adore her, her colleagues respect her, and it was the first complaint.  This would be the first I've ever heard of her being abusive are speaking harshly to the children. I assured the teacher that I would look into the matter as to not be dismissive of a very serious allegation.  I explained that I would conduct an investigation and upon the results of the investigation I would make my decisions on the matter.  After doing some inquiries and doing my own observation I noticed that the teacher was very direct in her speech. She is compassionate and understanding but very clear when she spoke to the children. The co-teacher had a more singsong and harmonic way of speaking to the children she used a lighter tone and was very nurturing when speaking with the children. I paired the two teachers together because I thought that the presence of both types of teachers in the classroom with bring about a necessary balance. At the end of my investigation I decided the teacher was not abusive to the children there was no other concerns about her being abusive to the children from other staff or the parents. So I dropped the issue. The teacher was then infuriated with me. She accused me of being complicit with child abuse and that she would report me and my center to the department of family children services as well as bright from the start. I was defensive and angry but I ultimately decided that I understood her point of view.  I informed her that I understood her position and I appreciate her passion for the children and their safekeeping. I also instructed her to do what she felt was necessary if in fact she thought that I was complicit in child abuse and her co-teacher was guilty of child abuse.  It is her responsibility as a mandated reporter to go to all avenues to report the maltreatment of the children I would support her and doing that as an alternative investigation could probably yield the same results as mine. She then felt that I was being condescending. I also reassured her that I found her very valuable to our center the children loved her and she has no poor reputation amongst the other teachers. I expressed to her my appreciation for her diligence as a child advocate.  Confident in my internal investigation, I informed her that I would support her contacting an outside entity to do another investigation. I asked her to consider that instead of thinking that the teacher was abusive that maybe she had a different method of communication not everyone will communicate as she and as she wants to be respected for her methods of communication and interacting with the children, other people also want to be respected for their methods as well.  I told her why I paired her with the other teacher and how I thought both personalities will be beneficial for creating balance and harmony in the classroom. If she would be open to a more direct teacher as the direct teacher is more open to a more passive teacher. She agreed and as she developed a better relationship with her co-teacher she began to understand that teachers method of communication and they have and a since become a very organized and successful teacher team.
I remember this example specifically because I was very annoyed with this teacher because blanket accusations can be damaging to a teacher reputation. However, as I've learned in the strategies from this class and the course text. understanding her point of view and why she was distressed made me respect her position and instead of being immediately dismissive of the accusation because I disagreed with it, I then conducted an investigation. Because it could be possible that the teacher was mistreating the children. I think that in this situation I used the 3 R's to diffuse the situation respond to it appropriately and show respect for all parties involved. As an Early childhood educator, Child Care center owner and administrator,  it is important for me to always use the 3 Rs in my communication. I have to show respect to the children to my colleagues to the parents to other professionals that I come across. I always have to respond to acknowledge that I understand, I am empathetic and I'm listening to the plights and the concerns of the children my colleagues my staff members and my family. And as I do the first two r's I stand to gain a more in-depth and meaningful relationship with all.

Who Am I as a Communicator?

This week I was tasked with learning about how I communicate and how others see me as a communicator. I have always prided myself as a person who is cautious with their words and usually speaks with the intention to convey a clear message. I try to avoid using offensive language and terminology that may overwhelm the other party in the conversation. I've never been a person who shied away from communicating in groups big or small or involving myself in a discussion that is filled with passion as well as differences of opinion. As I gave myself each survey I compared how I see myself to the results of the surveys and i was delighted to find that they mirrored one another. I've always looked at myself as someone who enjoyed conversation. I've always seen communication as a wonderful way to get to know other people and transfer ideas.
The people I chose to help me understand what kind of communicator I am come from two very different parts of my world one person was my husband who knows me very intimately and has communicated with me both effective and ineffectively for the last 18 years as well as a colleague whose only known me a short amount of time and we often have a difference of opinion. As I watch them take the survey I was insecure and how I portrayed myself and my communication style. However, I was very delighted to find that even though the numbers were off the category in which I landed in all three scenarios where exactly the same my results. I was happy to find that my efforts to be clear compassionate respectful and understanding in my communication is conveyed successfully. I think that because I spend a significant amount of time choosing my words wisely I am able to communicate empathetically efficiently and compassionately. I am also happy that my efforts do not go unnoticed professionally as well as personally. It speaks a lot to my character.

Communication and Culture

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?
• Like with everything I had to analyze my behavior when I am in a setting with multiple cultures present.  The answer is Yes I do change my behavior when I am in a culturally diverse environment.  The truth is when I am amongst other African Americans, I am most comfortable and feel the most understood.  I find that I don't have to search for the proper or unoffensive terminology.  I can use common African American colloquialisms, and they are understood.  I don't have to explain my opinion because others have similar views or experiences as myself.  I find that when I am with people from another culture, I am more cautious with my words, I never want to come off offensive.  Especially with members of the dominant culture, I am aware of my aggression or behaviors that may seem aggressive.  I am aware of my grammar and articulation.  It has been my experience that when I am more relaxed and myself, I come off to other people as abrasive.  How I am perceived by others is moderately important to me so if I can ensure that my persona is regarded as pleasant and enjoyable, I would be more comfortable.  I would like to be unapologetically me. However, the negative stereotypes that exist for African American people and women can sometimes overshadow my actual personality and character.  I feel that I am always fighting against negative stereotypes that people place on me. Therefore, I make adjustments to avoid having to feel defensive.  Especially when I know that the exchange is temporary.  
• Recently I watched a youtube video of black people of all shades answering questions about how comfortable they are as black people.  As they were answering the questions, I answered the same questions.  I found out some interesting things about myself as a woman and as a black woman. I am going to share that video below.  

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

This week I was tasked with watching a television show without sound and try to gain an understanding of their relationships.  That was a bit difficult, but I chose a show from my husband’s DVR list called The Big Bang.  I usually find it difficult to sit through an entire episode of this show.  Until the now I had not watched a single episode all the way through.  Watching it without sound was very telling.  The body language of all the cast made it seem that they do not like each other.  They roll their eyes at one another regularly and it is evident that some characters are submissive to other characters.  It was apparent that Sheldon, Penny, and Bernadette are the dominant characters in the group.  The others do not often stand tall around them or turn away when they are speaking. 

Watching it with the sound on only validated my suspicions.  The three characters as mentioned above are self-serving and believe that they are doing the others a favor for being dominant.  They fold their arms and make dismissive hand gestures when others speak.  They make sounds that also diminish the value of other words.  Before watching with the sound on I could not determine what the plot was about.  I assumed that Sheldon, Bernadette, and Penny all wanted things their way.  And they are used to getting things their way.  In many scenes, they were the ones standing and speaking while the other characters were seated. In the end, Bernadette showed dominance over Penny by standing while Penny was sitting. However, later in the episode, Penny was standing while speaking and showing dominance over an entire room of people. 

I think that I would already know the relationships and interactions of a show that I would normally watch.  I probably would be able to follow the plot of the show without sound because I am aware of the relationship dynamics and prior history between them.  Watching The Big Bang Theory, I had no clue who the characters were or their names and their relationships between each character. Because they are usually in groups, it was difficult to see who was married besides Sheldon and Amy who had many scenes with them alone. 

Although this is not a show that I would anticipate watching again, It showed me how communication and relationships can be illustrated through body movement and placement.  Nonverbal communication methods are as loud and noticeable as verbal communication if one is focused on listening to both. 

competent communication

This week, I was tasked with identifying someone that I felt was a competent communicator.  For those that know me and my family, I come from a verbal and vocal family.  There is no shortage of opinions.  However, I have an older cousin who sticks out for this particular blog post. 

My cousin April Watts.  My entire life she has never shied away from being who God made her.  She has always expressed her opinion and let no one stifle her voice.  Now in her adult life, she is a Radio personality in the Baltimore/Maryland area.  She has a large following on social media as well.  She is always ready to tackle tough topics and challenge social concepts and ideas.  Although the topics are sensitive, she finds an articulate way to express her opinion while providing a platform for an engaging dialog about hour social constructs, social and political injustices as well as pop culture topics.  She has a talent for giving a voice to the voiceless and standing for the underprivileged and the oppressed.  She is forefront on the discussion of social responsibility and true change.  Do I think she is a competent communicator?  I would say she is the most competent communicator that I know.  I am going to link some of her work so that you can listen and understand for yourself.

The Danger Report: April Watts Talks to Aeceis Clary, Sister of One of R.Kelly’s Alleged Sex Slaves