Reflecting on Building Relationships

"Human relationships, and the effects of relationships on relationships, are the building blocks of healthy development" (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000, p. 4).

I come from a very large family.  I learned very early in life how important relationships are and how much they can affect your life.  I was taught by my grandparents how to nourish and respect relationships.  They both taught that having relationships is mostly about tolerance and patience.  We have to be patient with others and respect their decisions even if we do not agree with them.  Although I lost my paternal grandmother to cancer in 2011 I carry her lessons of unconditional love with me throughout my life. 

Today I keep few friends and family close.  I have a small circle but it is filled with quality.  My most important relationship is with my husband of 14 years.  He makes me want to be better.  His support is unparalleled.  He supports my dreams and when I am down, he encourages me. When I am being lazy, he motivates me.  Watching him overcome adversity and persevere through trials and achieve is admirable.  My husband teaches me how to be empathetic and compassionate in relationships.  He helps me to be considerate of others.

My mother is a very important relationship.  We went from mother and daughter to friends.  She supports me and helps me to make sense of my thoughts.  She ensures that I am unwilling to make excuses and keeps me accountable for my actions.  We laugh and when I do not thing anyone understands me. She does.  I value who she is and where she has come from raising my sister and me without help.  Her hardworking nature is a characteristic that she passed down to my sister and me. She taught me about how to rid myself of toxic relationships and how to  be forgiving in important relationships.

My very best friend is a superwoman.  We began our friendship 17 years ago as colleagues.  We both watched our careers grow and we encourage and support each other with our academics.  She is a mother of five a wife, a preschool Staff coordinator, and student working toward her master’s degree in education.  She is the definition of superwoman.  We challenge each other’s thinking.  We provide advice when each of us comes to an impasse professionally.   Her independent thinking and mama bear skills make her one of the strongest women I know.  What she taught me is how to support one another through differences.  How to express yourself within the relationship while accepting the other person for who they are.

My cousin is another valuable relationship that I treasure.  Although we are related through marriage, I love her as if we share the same familial blood.  She has had to endure such hardships at a very young age.  However, if you were to look at her you would be amazed how unscathed she is.  She is the definition of determination and integrity.  She is a single mother of two while working and finishing her MBA.  She supports me in everything and she is very hands on in my business.  She double checks my business to make sure everything is up to par.  She sets the standards high.  She teaches me about appreciation of relationships and not taking them for granted.

 The lessons that I gather from my personal relationships impact my professional live.  The characteristics that I absorb from my loved ones are characteristics that make me a better teacher.  Children need unconditional love.  Children need to know that they are loved without conditions and regardless of their mistakes.  My personal relationships help me to be more patient, understanding, tolerant, appreciative, empathetic, and compassionate.  Each character trait is beneficial to me as a teacher.  I have had to reflect on these relationships and conversations while working with children.  Sometimes I even use them as reference or an example of how I want to act or should behave.  I use their advice and method probably every day.  My relationships impact who I am as a person therefore they impact how I interact with my students.