Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Each day that I venture into the world I am faced with microaggression from a variety of unexpected places and people. Microaggressions are typically defined as subtle snubs, slights, and insults directed toward minorities, as well as to women and other historically stigmatized groups, that implicitly communicate or at least engender hostility.  Most recently, I was in the beauty supply store and another female came to me and touched my hair and said my hair was very urban and she could never get away with wearing her hair like “you”.  I asked her not to touch my hair.  It was presumptuous and a violation of my personal space.  I felt that her comment was microinsulting and trying to use a compliment to insult me.  I did not know what I wanted to say all I know is that I was angry and insulted.  I wanted to yell and curse at the lady and tell her how inappropriate she was behaving, however what I chose to do is say, “Please do not touch my hair” and I thanked her for her compliment and went to the counter.  I really was aggravated that I continually have to deal with this behavior. It seems everywhere I turn, people within the dominant culture use microaggressions in their communications with me.  It makes me not want to interact at all.  I really feel that after the course text this week and additional reading by Dr. Derald Sue, I am more aware when I have microaggressions in my interactions.  I am also more aware of my own word choice and microaggression.  When you know better you do better.  I would suggest anyone and everyone to read a book by Dr. Sue titled Race talk and the Conspiracy of Silence.  Understanding and facilitating difficult dialogues on race.  It is a very informative read. 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

The friends and colleagues I asked for assistance were people who I knew were open and willing to be honest about their opinion.  Each person is different from me and have different opinions from me.  I asked each person how they wanted to be identified explaining to them about social identity adding to their personal culture.  I was intrigued in how they assigned themselves to the social groups. 

 Ask each person to share: Their ideas definition of culture and diversity. I chose to omit their names.

Person 1 Female, 41, Moroccan, Muslim

Definition of culture: The passing down of tradition from generation to generation. Living and upholding the moral integrity and values set.  

Definition of diversity: Moroccans welcoming and respectful people towards different cultures, ideas, and ways of life.  We are a country made up of different religions and languages.  Diversity means people come from different cultures but co-exist as a community.

Person 2 Female, African American, 38, Bipolar, Christian, Republican

Definition of culture:  Family customs, and people who share common backgrounds, and faiths and core beliefs.

Definition of diversity.  Acceptance of peoples, ideas, and cultures

Person 3 Male, Caucasian, Mormon, 34, Father

Definition of culture: culture is who you are and what you believe.  My culture encompasses everything I am.  My faith in The Father, I am Mormon. My role as a father and a husband and a son, the values I instill in my children.  My role as a father and the example I set for my family is my culture. 

Definition of diversity: Diversity is about seeing and being different from one another. 

Reflecting on their answers from these very different people their answers are very similar.  Though the constructs of their culture varies, the importance they place on the surface aspects of their culture is universal. 
Each of the participants placed value on their family, their religion, and their cultural group.  They all did not identify social characteristics as major contributing factors of their culture.  Two of the participants used the words values and morals as an aspect of their culture.  However, they did identify cultural groups such as being female, Republican, a father and even being Bipolar.  These social identities contribute to their culture and these characteristics are influenced by their culture.  They saw their importance when it came to identifying themselves but did not include these aspects in their definitions of culture and diversity. 

Neither of the participants chose an activity as a part of their culture.  They did not really emphasize on race or a specific ethnicity when speaking on diversity.  They chose to focus on having respect for those that are different.

What I really took from the conversations with these individuals is how we may be different on the outside, and come from different cultures, however we all think alike in regards to showing respect to others.  I fully expected there to be more drastic differences because stereotypically these cultural groups are polar opposites.  What I was happy to find out is once the stereotypes and assumptions are put away, most people hold the same things at value.  They approach their culture with the same passion as everyone else.  That to me is the truest celebration of diversity.  You accept and respect the culture of others while holding dear and embracing yours.

My Family Culture

The question posed to me in this week’s assignments is to identify three items that represent my family culture. As I pondered the question, I realized that my family does not revel in possessions.  We do not pass down heirlooms.  There are not many items that I would say represents my family’s culture.  My family consists of many different cultures, religions, and ethnicities.  We are diverse within ourselves.  Therefore, no singular item could adequately represent my family’s culture.  It is embedded in us through experience and passing down stories arbitrarily. When we gather we reminisce with pictures.  Those pictures lead into stories of times together in our youth or our parent’s youths. My grandmothers would use the pictures to tell us about how she grew up and how our family began.  We laugh and sometimes cry.  If I had to take anything that would represent my family’s culture, I would take a family album that depicts many of our family’s events and identifying generations of family members who are no longer living.  This would be my only item that I would take.  My family could host as all items in one.  It serves as a reminder to me of those I hold most dear.  It is a memory trigger of times enjoyed and lessons learned.  I can use this album to explain to others in my new community the people who helped structure my identity.  “When we find ourselves in the midst of another culture, or when we must interact with someone from a different culture, we discover that the way we do things is not the only way” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 55).  This item would catalog my life and the lives of others through picture. It would allow me to introduce myself to the new members of the community.  It is a good representation of the type of culture I come from.  It is a manifestation of my family culture of love without conditions, unwavering support, and pride.  I could spend hours telling anyone about my family.

 

I think that my feelings upon arriving to a new country with a different culture and language would be at first anxiety.  Not knowing what to expect or how I would maneuver through this new environment successfully.   Knowing that my family album could stay with me, I would be relieved, as I would use those pictures to take my mind to happier times.  Seeking familiarity is comforting in an uncomfortable situation.  That is why in my school we have family trees with pictures.  The children get to see their family and have pride in themselves and for their family.

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves. Washington DC: NAEYC.